Sleeping in separate rooms is quickly becoming the new norm for couples but what impact is that having and is there a better solution?
In this post, we look at the effects of sleeping in separate beds and offer a practical solution that could just save your marriage!
The struggle of getting a good night's rest is one that perhaps unites us all and there's no hiding from it either. A poor night's rest bodes ill for happy faces in the morning and throughout the week.
If you're not sleeping well next to your partner, just know that you are not alone. Sleeping difficulties affect the vast majority of couples and it is a much bigger problem than we realise.
In fact, according to the Australian Sleep Health Foundation, an increasing number of couples will consider a "sleep divorce" for a chance to get some decent shut-eye.
"For 1 in 7 adults (14.3%) a partner’s sleep problem has a moderate or significant effect on the couple’s relationship," (Sleep Health Foundation, 2016, Link).
These statistics increase tenfold when disturbances throughout the night affect one's ability to fall back to sleep. Whether triggered by stress, body pain, noise factors or other stimuli, more and more couples are choosing to sleep in separate bedrooms in order to minimise exposure to broken and restless sleep.
Maybe one person snores and the other person is a blanket hog. Maybe you both have radically different sleep schedules or room-temperature preferences. Or maybe you just don't sleep well knowing there is another human breathing the same air as you.
Whatever the reason, it is widely accepted that inadequate sleep is bad for both you and your relationship.
However, there are significant disadvantages to sleeping apart that are often overlooked and worth considering before taking drastic measures.
Sleep is directly linked to marital satisfaction
It's no secret — sleep is directly related to marital satisfaction — but sleeping separately has its consequences too.
Stacey Green, author of Building Resilience through Relationships, recalls how sleeping apart from her husband nearly destroyed their relationship.
“For a long period of time, I was not sleeping with my husband and I feel that it was part of the reason he had an affair. Perhaps the cuddling, night time banter and spontaneous sex were missing."
Naturally, intimacy will take a back seat if you and your partner decide to priortise your individual sleep needs.
Whilst you may overcome this hurdle in the short term (by dedicating time to intimacy and affection), it's worth getting to the root cause of your "sleep divorce", whether that be snoring, restless legs, back pain or otherwise.
Sleeping in separate rooms is simply a band-aid solution to a problem that requires our full attention. By failing to address the issues at hand, we risk contributing to a tense and volatile household.
David Bennett, a certified counselor and relationship expert, says that trying different remedies to end snoring “may improve the relationship more than any type of therapy or couples’ activity.”
Whatever the issue might be, it will benefit both you and your partner if you approach the matter with a degree of humour, empathy and humility.
“The bottom line here really is, sleeping separately can work for some and not for others,” (Celia Schweyer, 2019).
Make sleeping together great again
Ultimately, the benefits of sleeping in the same bed cannot be understated — it is a critical time for partners to decompress, connect and offer their support for one another. This is especially true in households with children where co-operation and planning tends to go out of the window.
From pressure aborbing mattresses that eliminate partner disturbance to premium-grade adjustable beds that help overcome common barriers to deep sleep, there are plenty of options available that can avoid the dreaded "sleep divorce".
When it comes to relationships, we believe that sleeping in separate rooms is a compromise no couple should have to make.
Our Split Queen Adjustable Bed has been specifically designed with couples in mind and comes with two wireless remotes to help both you and your partner find the perfect position.